Then You Look At Me

Laugh and cry
Live and die
Life is a dream we're dreaming

Day by day
I find my way
Look for the soul and the meaning

Then you look at me
And I always see
What I have been searching for
I'm lost as can be
Then you look at me
And I am not lost anymore

People run
Sun to sun
Caught in their lives ever flowing
Once begun
Life goes till it's gone
We have to go where it's going

Then you look at me
And I always see
What I have been searching for
I'm lost as can be
Then you look at me
And I am not lost anymore

And you say you see
When you look at me
The reason you love life so
As lost I have been
I'll find love again
And life just keeps on running
And life just keeps on running
You look at me and life comes from you
From you.

*******************************

Went to my teacher's house today to learn a bit of Adobe Photoshop. It' is fun and interesting but at the same time, it is challenging and complicated. Take time to really master it. So far, I learn it for the sake of designing poster and stuff, not really to the extent that I could photoshop my own face so that I look pimpleless in pictures. Sort of chatting my teacher for a while too, expressing my concern over my studies life and he shared his. He is my Chemistry teacher, by the way. He says he scores better in Organic Chemistry than Physical Chemistry.

Hang out with high school friends too. Get to meet them after not seeing one another for so long. They don't change much. It is a good thing. Somehow, I feel like I can be my real self again when I am with them, because that is the way I used to be. Miss those days.

*Hate when negative thought creeps into mind. Never like the feeling.

These are the truth

Being tagged by Justin, again.

WHAT WAS YOUR:
1. Last beverage: Green Tea
2. Last phone call: Friend
3. Last text message: Same as above
4. Last song you listened to: Then You Look At Me - Celine Dion
5. Last time you cried: Not crying, tears shedding. Almost every night?

HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone twice: No.
7. Been cheated on: No.
8. Kissed someone & regretted it: No. I mean, I am yet to have my first kiss. (excluding my baby brothers)
9. Lost someone special: Hope not.
10. Been depressed: Sort of.
11. Been drunk and threw up: NEVER.

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLOURS:
12. red
13. blue
14. green

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2009)
15. Made a new friend: This year? Not really new friends, but getting closer to the acquaintance that get to make last year
16. Fallen out of love: No.
17. Laughed until you cried: No.
18. Met someone who changed you: Yes.
19. Found out who your true friends were: Not were, it's "ARE" and hope it will stay that way.
20. Found out someone was talking about you: Just now at the mall, meet old friends. They were talking about me.
21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list: Obviously no. Not even virtually.
22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: Most of them.

23. How many kids do you want?: It depends.
24. Do you have any pets: Dogs, hamsters.
25. Do you want to change your name: It's just nice.
26. What did you do for your last birthday: Being treated by my friends. Went to lectures. Doing assignments. Typical day.
27. What time did you wake up today: 12pm
28. What were you doing at midnight last night: Singing and dancing
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: Back to UTP! (seriously?)
30. Last time you saw your Mother: Err... now?
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: Quite a lot, but I am grateful of what is given to me. Things happen for reason. They won't just happen.
32. What are you listening to right now : The music from Restaurant City in Facebook and sound of the fan.
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: I don't have friends named Tom.
34. What's getting on your nerves right now: Nothing. (perhaps the slow internet connection)
35. Most visited webpage: Facebook, Blog, Plurk, Friendster, YouTube
36. Whats your real name: Steward Baba
37. Nicknames: Close friends call me "Baba" now
38. Relationship Status: Single but not available
39. Zodiac sign: Taurus
40. Male or female?: Male.
41. Primary School?: SJK Sebiew Chinese Bintulu, SJK (c) Choong Hwa Gurun, Kedah
42. Secondary School?: SMK Bandar Bintulu
43. High school/college: Universiti Teknologi PETRONAS
44. Hair colour: Black
45. Long or short: Short.
46. Height: 170cm ++.
47. Do you have a crush on someone?: Don't know.
48: What do you like about yourself?: Everything?
49. Piercings: No.
50. Tattoos: No.
51. Righty or lefty: Righty

FIRSTS :
52. First surgery: No.
53. First piercing: No.
54. First best friend: Don't believe in this anymore.
55. First sport you joined: Badminton or Taekwondo?
56. First vacation: Kuching
58. First pair of trainers: Trainers?

RIGHT NOW
59. Eating: Nothing
60. Drinking: Green Tea
61. I'm about to: doing nothing. Perhaps reading Reader Digest that I have just bought.
62. Listening to: I have mentioned.
63. Waiting on: finishing this.

YOUR FUTURE
64. Want kids?: Of course.
65. Get Married?: Yes.
66. Career?: Oil & Gas, Education, Management

WHICH IS BETTER :
67. Lips or eyes: eyes
68. Hugs or kisses: Hugs
69. Shorter or taller: Taller
70. Older or Younger: Younger
71. Romantic or spontaneous: Spontaneous with a bit of romance
72. Nice stomach or nice arms: Nice arms.
73. Sensitive or loud: Sensitive
74. Hook-up or relationship: Relationship.
75. Trouble maker or hesitant: Hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER :
76. Kissed a stranger: No, not even accidentally.
77. Drank hard liquor: No.
78. Lost glasses/contacts: I don't wear any. Good eyes.
79. Sex on first date: Never have a date. Mind you, won't have sex on the first one either.
80. Broken someone's heart: May be.
82. Been arrested: by Mom?
83. Turned someone down: Maybe?
84. Cried when someone died: Need not to wait for someone to die for me to cry.
85. Fallen for a friend?: Erm, so far, no.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself: 50-50.
87. Miracles: Yes.
88. Love at first sight: Sort of,
89. Heaven: Yes
90. Santa Claus: No
91. Kiss on the first date: Never date.
92. Angels: Yes

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: Never have one.
95. Did you sing today?: No.
96. Ever cheated on somebody?: No.
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?: High school
98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be?: Lots of them.
99. Are you afraid of falling in love?: Because afraid that may fall out of it and fall apart.

100. Posting this as 100 truths?: I am not lying.

Tagged

First Tag: by Yi Herng

1. Besides your lips, where is the favourite spot to get kissed?
Erm, cheek?

2. How did you feel when you woke up this morning?
Lazy. Feel want to sleep all the way.

3. Who was the last person/people you took photo with?
My brothers.

4. Would you consider yourself spoiled?
A bit.

5. Will you ever donate blood?
I will if I can.

6. Have you ever have a best friend who was of the opposite sex?
I don't believe in "Best Friends". "Close friends" and "Special friends" are preferable. And, it is not "WAS". It is still "IS".

7. Do you want someone to be dead?
No

8. What does your last text message say?
This message is quite long. For the sake of this tag, I will type it out.
"Love from A~Z

Accept
Believe
Care
Devoted
Enjoy
Freedom
Give
Honesty
Independence
Jealousy
Kiss
Love
Mature
Natural
Observe
Protect
Quarter
Relax
Share
Try
Understand
Vow
Willingness
Xpression
Yield
Zest"

9. What are you thinking right now?
Nothing except tagging.

10. Do you want someone to be with you now?
Yes.

11. What was the time you went to bed last night?
Lying on the bed around 2.00 am but only feel sleepy, hours after that.

12. Where did you buy the tee you are wearing now?
It's a gift from a plant visit.

13. Is someone in your mind right now?
Yes.

14. Who was the last person who text you?
Michael Hii, a friend from Miri that I get to know back in 2007 during Nurturing The Eagle (NTE)

Lazy to tag.

*****************************

Second Tag: Justin Wai Khan

Upload your favorite picture and answer the questions below:
Erm, this is hard. I have lots of favourite picture. Don't know which one to choose. Anyway, I choose this one.

Why do you choose this photo?
Cute and meaningful picture. :)

When was the last time you ate pizza?
19 April 2009. Pizza Hut. Jaya Jusco, Ipoh. I still keep the receipt. :)

The last song you've listened to?
Nobody by Wonder Girls

What are you doing besides answering this tag?
Listening to songs

Besides your own name, how do you like people to call you?
.........................

I like to do tags but not tagging people. Sorry.

Rotting

This will be post with words only. No pictures. No graphics. Just plain text. It will be monotonous.

I won’t say my holiday is boring since I have lots of things to do, actually. No one to blame but me if I am rotting at home and doing nothing. Very hard for me to kick off the habit of sleeping late and waking up late. I can only sleep when the clock passes twelve and same goes for the time to wake up, if you know what I mean. Somehow my biological clock has distorted. The homeostasis of my body is not able to revert to its normal state. How pathetic. I need regular sleep, please.

My BMI is not normal, it is below normal range actually. Thinking of getting some fat so that my width is proportional to my height. Think that my body itself prefers staying thin. Some more, two months without Starbucks, Secret Recipe and Big Apple is kind of torture for a guy like me who comes from a humble town which doesn’t have much fancy restaurants yet get exposed to these. And no bowling court for me to bowl. Another torture.

The Gawai season is still on and so whole my family members was out to “ngabang” (visits friends & relatives’ houses) but I choose to stay at home. Somehow I do feel that the heat of celebration is getting lesser and lesser, year by year. I am not mentioning Gawai alone,same goes for others. Think that the modernization starts to take over the tradition that we used to have while celebrating these festivals. Invention of new gadgets and the progression of this technology become the new interests of youngsters these days. Not to mention that I myself fall for it. Nevertheless, I am still glad that everyone is still able to gather to celebrate the big days together. We should always remember where we come from.

Free from assignments, projects, lab reports, books or whatever something-to-do-with-studies makes me get addicted to play games lately either PC Games or those applications in Facebook. The only PC Game that I am playing now, well, is none other than O2jam. Discover a lot of songs that I like. It is getting fun. And, The Sims 3 has been officially launched yesterday. I am dying to play it right now. Very, very desperate. I am back in playing My Heroes Abilities in Facebook. Now my day is occupied by games, for now.

Thinking of reading the lecture notes that I download from DC++ that day, IMSE & SPDS. Am I crazy or what?

*I dreamed that I get 2.5 for this semester. Has strong instinct that it will happen. Or may be worse, who know?

Selamat Ari Gawai

1 June. Not a big day for those who reside in Peninsular Malaysia but is is the big day for the local people of Sabah and Sarawak. For Sabahan, it will be Pesta Keamatan. As for Iban folks like me, it is the time to celebrate Gawai festival. The time to balik kampung. Back to my long house.

We started off our journey with this Hilux. This vehicle is tough enough to endure the bumpy ride that we about to have since we would be heading to the place which is far, far away from urbanization, with irregular road surface and surrounded by nature.
Too bad is that the capacity is not really adequate for a big family like me which have 5 siblings. Five of us have to squeeze ourselves real hard throughout the one hour and rocky ride.


The journey was too rocky till that I almost vomit and my head hit against the ceiling (do they call it "ceiling", by the way? I am not really sure.) Around one hour later, we finally reached the harbour or port or whatever-the-name-is where boats dock. My grandparents have been expecting us.

In Iban, we call this as "jelatung"

Get ready to sail

It has been a long while I didn't have a ride on a boat. The last one would be three years, I guess. The weather was kind of hot but it is also the best time to really enjoy the nature.






The boat ride was about 30 minutes and we finally there.

My long house

Well, it is not really long if to compare with other longhouse. Mine has only six rooms while others can have up to 50 or even hundred of rooms, which is very, very long, I would say. This is the place where my dad was raised since he was an infant. Imagine how long this long house has been there.

Till today, my long house still doesn't have constant supply of clean water and electricity. The residents here rely on generator for electricity. The generator is using oil to run. Although this place is out of civilization, we do depend on oil for daily usage, in the sense that we don't use much oil for transportation like the city people but we do need oil for other purposes. To save oil, there is no electricity during day time. Imagine how hot can it be. Those who are used to air-conditioned living room would keep on cursing throughout your stay here. But, there are long houses that do have constant electricity but not mine, unfortunately.

As for water, the source come from rain and river water. Life could be very hard if drought strikes, just like what is happening currently. It has been a while it didn't rain here. Sometimes we need to carry pails of water from the river everyday just for the sake of water. Of course, the river is also the place for us to take bath. Well, if you ask me, it will always be public bath. We do have bathroom indoor though.

This is the place we called as "Tanju".

I am not really sure the real function of this but my grandparents use to dry their rubber sheets here or their "belacan". You can say it is a drying spot. As you can see from the picture above, it can also a place for us to gather, eating coconut. :)

"Ruai"

This is the part that connects all the rooms in the long house. This is the place when we are having reunion dinner. This is the place where the visitors will be when they come. This is the part that distinguish between typical terrace house in the city and long house.

View outside of long house

My grandparents rear pig. Meaning, they have pig farm. They are for sale for those who wish to buy them. When it comes to Gawai celebration, there would be a pig to be slaughtered. Poor pig.

Being tasty and cute at the same time is a curse.

"Bandung"

A mobile shop that travels from house to house. This is where the residents buy their daily necessities. Well, they are not limited to this service only. The residents can also use boats to the nearest town to buy their stuff as well.

It was Gawai Eve. Me, my brother, my mother and my aunt went for mushroom hunting.

"Kulat buah"

The hunting was not easy as we were looking through the bushes in the middle of the jungle where exotic animals could come out and eat you up. No, joking only. But, mosquitoes are irresistible, and not to mention the scorching heat.

What is the name for this plant again?

Abandoned hut aka "langkau"

All the sweats. All the tiredness. All the pain. All the bites. Finally, this is the fruit of our labour. :)

Eventually, we had our boat ride back to our long house.

What I like when it comes to long house is the food. No, it is not only about pork, mind you. One of the food will be the prawn. My grandpa would always caught some river prawns and they are absolutely free. Somemore they come in big sizes. They are juicy. Yummy!

Another fact about me is that I love to eat sour stuff. The one below is one of them.

"Buah Maram"

Mixed together with "belacan" is nice. Enjoy the sour sensation in my tongue.

Preparation for GAWAI.

"Ranyai"

Christmas has its own Christmas tree. Gawai has its own tree which we call it as "ranyai". Foods and stuff would be hung on it instead of decoration.

I am not sure what is the name for this but every room will hang this up when it comes to Gawai.

This is will be a part of "miring". I think it is for sort of offering.

When the clock strikes twelve, which indicates 1 June has finally arrived, the residents usually will be drinking "ai pengayu" which means long-life drink. It is usually "tuak", rice-brewed wine. I don't drink though. Then, there would be a reunior dinner (midnight supper) for every resident in the house at "ruai".

After that, the old folks or even some of the grown-ups will be dancing "Ngajat", surrounds the "ranyai".

With the knife in the hand, they would cut the stuff off from the tree while they are performing their dances.

I am yet to learn "ngajat" though. In this modern times, some of the latest entertainment has become a part of the celebration. One example will be "poco-poco".

Others may include karaoke, modern dancing and so on. Even now "ngajat' is accompanied by music from player instead of traditional musical instrument.



Anyhow, I still like the sounds produced by the musical instrument the best. It is more original and real, to hear it live.

"engkerumung"

"gendang"

"tawak" & "bendai"

The compilation of these instruments will produce a music which is known as "Taboh Iban". I have included a short clip of the music if you wish to listen to them.


Guess that's all I can say about my celebration this year. I admit there are still lots for me to explore more about my own culture as I am not really well exposed to these. If you ask me, there are still stuff that I don't really know.

Anyway, I am glad that Gawai can bring all the family members to gather together in on occasion, no matter how far where do they live. They will always come together in one house to celebrate the festival. It is all about family. :)