Thought I already get over it after one night sleep. Somehow or rather, I was wrong.
I thought we are friends. Is there any need to hide things from me? You think I will mind or mad or something? I tell you, hiding things from me will make me even madder! I’m tired of people hiding things from me. Lying to me. If you want to lie, if you want to hide, seriously, do it well and don’t let me find out. I will still be stupid enough to not to be mad at you.
Our friendship is nothing, is that it? You make me feel that I am a part but by doing this thing, you disappoint me. It’s funny if you want me to mention what you did. To most people, “aiya, small matter..” but when the so-called small matter accumulates, it ain’t that SMALL anymore. I am kind enough to tolerate once, twice, thrice…. I FEEL SO LEFT OUT.
May be I am too naïve. I guess our friendship is all about having fun ONLY but there is no room to tell the truth.
Is it just me or I always face the same issues again and again every year. It’s my own problem kot but well, at least, I tried to change just to get along, without losing myself.
Till the end of the day, I would prefer to have a friend whom I can pour my heart out and just tell him/her everything. Although it means we won’t spend lots time together, it’s the quality of that particular moment matters. The happiness is at least more genuine.
Just a thought.
p/s If there is something you dislike about me. Seriously, say it. I have been flamed before and I don't mind another shot.
Well, it has been a week I am back to my beloved Universiti Teknologi PETRONAS (Petroleum?!). Attended my very first lecture of Engineering, Economics & Entrepreneurship and lecturer was teaching chapter 4. Engineers in Society lecturer happens to be my former Engineering Team Project supervisor (He gives our group an "A", yay!). Process Plant Design lecturer is superb: a master of Separation Process and Reaction Engineering. Malaysian Studies is exactly (or nearly) similar to SPM History but the class was a little turn-off. A Canadian teaches Corporate Communication, the most unusual lecturer ever.
A total of 5 subjects for my first May Semester in UTP, there is no labs and tutorials this time, only lectures, 2-hour lecture. Mostly are conceptual and theory courses, urgh, I can foresee this semester is going to be a hard one for me as I am not really into reading kind of subject. It's not my cup of tea. Hard and boring. Struggles await. I would prefer struggle solving Maths problem rather than punching myself for not being able to memorise the details in the textbook. Seriously.
Anyway, my third year first semester has finally come to an end when the result was released on Thursday (in which supposed to be Wednesday but UTP Registrar was unable to be efficient enough to deal with the registration, add/drop and result at the same time, so....). It's better than I thought, though. It dropped but I am contented enough lo. For the first time ever that getting a "B" can actually make my day. Haha, I am not joking. Maintain in Dean's List, I have to work harder this semester before leaving for internship. (Waa, interns soon! >.<)
Tomorrow will be the actual commencement of Week 1 of this semester. The new season officially begins. =)
*Last Friday was the craziest day ever! Thank you, DJ! XD
Well, I guess it is not an appropriate term for me to use since I have been skipping lectures for the past 2 weeks (New semester starts on 23rd May. What's the date today again? Oh, it's 3rd June! XD). One week holiday, seriously, after going through lectures for 14 weeks and 2 weeks of exam season, students will definitely be worn out at the end. The worst part is that the result is yet to be released and new semester commences. In the need of proper closure before new semester begins! -.-
On the other note, the new implemented trimester system that my Uni is having makes the time flies a little faster this year. Woots, it's already the month of June. 5 months of 2011 passed by, just like that. Another semester to go and I will be having industrial training (i.e. interning). As much as I am looking forward for this October, this whole interning-stuff always reminds me that I am nearly at the end of studies in UTP (for undergraduate, at least) as final year follows when intership period is over. That's the end of next year. (21 December 2012, the world comes to an end, huh? "Habis lah, tak sempat habiskan study. Apatah lagi konvo?" lol )
The fact that I am already turning 21 is still unbelievable because I don't act like one. Very, very young at heart. Like what they say, you can't stop growing old but growing up is optional. The older you get, most of the things you can easily ignore when you were younger, hardly can be ignored at this phase. Ah well, ignorance is bliss, right? I second that statement with a risk, which is it does not always yield desirable result as you expect it to be. It might worsen due to your own utter ego to let it be and eventually spells disasters. I am speaking in general, though.
January 2011 Semester, in my opinion, didn't really go well as I thought it would be, in the beginning. Going through several emotional turmoils and dilemma till mid-semester. There were things I did those I regretted and learned that how much I have hurt people without the intention to do so. I did things with good intentions but I guess the implementations were poorly conducted or worst, the wrong method. In the end, I was the one who did most mistakes (I felt sorry for doing them) and yet, I was still the one who were being hurt the most. It's a lonely feeling when you are feeling so fragile and defenseless. Low point in life, it's inevitable.
Nevertheless, things turn out to be getting better towards the end of the semester, which is something I don't really expect them to be. It's a good thing, I presume. Despite of the loneliness that I had once in a while, I can only feel contented for what I have, instead of feeling down for things that I have not. Gotta find the meaning of life to move on. If there is nothing to look forward to in life, then what's the point of living? =)
Oh well, enough ranting. I am returning to my campus tomorrow. Hope that I can cope with the studies that I have left behind for 2 weeks and plus, I am taking 5 subjects. That's a lot of classes that I have missed! >.<
Before I ended this post, let's recap some of my favourite moments for previous semester:
Celebrated Chinese New Year in KL with my brother. Get to meet new friends.
In front of pavilion.
Visited Wai Choong's house, the only house I visited this year. To add, I am the first UTPian to visit his house for CNY. lol
My last event in UTP of being a part of organising committee: 6th Malaysian Chem-E-Car Competition
Me with my committees. Ceremony and Protocol Department
Celebrated 21st Birthday with my twin!
Mu'ez and me!
The best birthday celebration in UTP ever. Well, not totally in UTP. The day started on the dance floor and followed by treated lunch and few games of bowling. The final agenda (I thought it was) was celebration at Pizza Hut, Batu Gajah, in conjunction with Chem-E-Car appreciation. To end the day, both of us were splashed with F&N Grape drink. Lol, the chain of events of that day still remains vividly in my memory. :)
Last but not least, I went back to my long house for Gawai after didn't make it for the previous years. The flight on 22nd May was worth to be missed. lol
Me with my dear long house (not really long though, only 7 rooms).
Selamat ari gawai ngagai kaban belayan bak serta dunya! Gayu guru gerai nyamai. Oo.... ha!
Reflecting the past, setting new targets, new burning positive spirit, I am going to embrace this new season with a blast, in which was delayed for 2 weeks. lol