I know, this update is long overdue. It has been three months since my last entry here. There was time that I wish to update but something would always get in my way. Anyway, I am here now. Just hope it is sufficient to cover what have been happening for the past months.
Final year has been nothing but a total madness. Fourteen weeks of the semester seems to be more tormenting than the seven months internship. With two final year projects undertaken concurrently, the stress can be unbearable at time. It is not all about good time management anymore. You also need to learn to have good mentality and above all, compromise and tolerate while working with others. For my final year project (FYP), I am working on the mechanical properties of urea fertilisers. It sounds like a simple project but expectation of my supervisor is somewhat pressuring. A good intention it is but I am not sure I can continuously keep up. As a matter of fact, I am only doing this FYP just for the sake of FYP, not that I have much enthusiasm in it. Not good.
FYDP or Plant Design Project, if you ask any chemical engineering students, this course is a real pain in the ass. Never have such a torturing group project before. Had our presentation on Tuesday and I daresay that it was an epic failure. Being criticized by the examiners from head to toe, from arm to leg. I guess we need to really intensify our effort for next semester, which is also my final semester in UTP. Heard from seniors that FYP2 and FYDP2 will be much worse. Great, I shall foresee a very grueling final moment in this university.
Other than studies, there are so many things have been evolving around me lately, both good and bad. Sometimes I let these things to take over me to the extent that dragging me away from my work. Frankly speaking, personal issues exert more stress than the FYP workloads. Stress from studies can come on its own but emotional turmoil does not, when I am not able to proceed with my work in which later I need to suffer from the consequences. I don't know how strong can I be but for being able to survive in UTP for the past 4 years is considerably remarkable for me. To endure with all these without any total breakdown. I mean, how long you can pretend that you are okay when you are not? There is time that I find this life is not worth living anymore.
Ultimately, I need to reset my main motivation. I am not doing this for me. I am doing this for my family. I am doing this for the people that I love. I gotta stay together. I just have to. I shall not give myself away that easily. There are so many things I would like to do in this life. Keep on reminding myself that there is a bit more left before breaking free. *end of venting about my life*
Today marks the beginning of Final Exam, my second last exam. My paper starts on next Monday, though. Yet to feel anxious. Rather excited, actually. *not fully prepared* If you ask me, I would rather choose final exam over projects. Final exam can be finished in one shot but projects take your whole lifetime. lol
Okay, I stop here for now. Shall continue next time. Promise to keep this blog updated regularly after this.
Wishing you all the happiness in the world and see you around!
Oh ya! Tomorrow is 31st August. Happy Merdeka to all Malaysians. Happy 55th Birthday, Malaysia.
My favourite patriotic song of all time!
TERIMA KASIH, MALAYSIA!