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Galloping Horse @ Soft Opening - 31st January 2014

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Dreams vs Opportunities

When I was still in primary school, my aunt asked me what is my ambition. I told her that I like Mathematics.  She responded by saying that I should be an engineer. I wonder if you still remember back then you need to fill up a student profile and there was a section where you have to list out your ambitions and three columns were given. First column I wrote "Jurutera". As for second column, I put down "Guru" as I noticed something about myself during that time I like to pretend as a teacher, holding textbook and talking to invisible students. Other kids played "masak-masak" or Play Station and me played "cikgu". Lol. As for the third column, for some reason, I put "Pensyarah". How did I know that profession exist, I have no idea. May be because I mentioned I wanted to be a teacher and others said being a lecturer is better for higher pay. The ambition columns remained the same for six years of my primary school life.

Entering high school, comparing to other subjects, I did exceptionally well in Mathematics. It is not I am a genius that I can derive new equations or solve difficult problems or something. It just happened that I have deep passion in learning this particular subject. At that point of time, I became very certain this is the field that I wish to get into. No, never engineering. It is always Mathematics. All the way. Chemistry, Physics and Biology were fun and all but I wasn't sure I am up to study much of them. Plus, I thought when it came to university, you ought to study what you have interest in as compared to those compulsory subjects that you have to take for SPM. Attending a number of education fairs and the courses that I asked about was Mathematics. No, never engineering. For a course to be this specific was really not that popular. Even though such course is offered, it is available overseas mostly. I thought to myself at that time, "Why not taking Education in Mathematics then? Get the best of both of my interest." This dream remained as dream when I applied to study chemical engineering in UTP, just right after I finished my SPM. It just seemed the only option that I have the time. As the saying goes, "opportunity doesn't come twice".

Three and a half years studying in UTP before I was away for my internship, I tried to  develop interest in the program that I was studying. The matter didn't go easy when I was a PETRONAS scholar in which after I graduated, I supposedly bonded to serve the company for at least 10 years. It was as though that my future was already set on the day when I accepted the offer. Was anxious at first but overtime, tired of arguing with myself, perhaps this was for the best and decided to go along. Initially I was offered to intern at Malaysia Liquefied Natural Gas (MLNG) where I hope could rekindle my interest in oil & gas industry. The next thing I know I was given the opportunity to have my industrial training with Formula One Team in the United Kingdom. Formula One was so not related to my studies but how often would you have such chance? Contemplating between the two options, I decided to go overseas and hence, leaving chemical engineering behind for seven months.

Back in UTP for final year, I chose Process Plant Engineering for my major. The courses were pretty attractive to me especially Process Optimization. You don't say, it utilized mathematical concepts to solve problems. It was the very last course of my degree studies and managed to ace it. Found some glimpse of hope there, this might be my true calling. Passed PETRONAS structured interview and get recommended, now my only hope is to get the right job. Called for a chit-chat session the other day and the position offered was Production Engineer. Apparently, I didn't get it. At the tiniest part of my heart, I felt contented despite I have done my best in the interview.

I am envious of those who are able to go after their childhood dreams. My brother, for instance, he gets to pursue culinary arts in which I believe he will be an awesome chef someday because he has the fire within him. I need to add oil into my own fire if I wish to become a high flyer. Better stop just talking about it, I guess I have to do something about it. Walk the talk.

I may not be able to pursue my old dream but definitely not letting go the opportunity that is given to me to fulfil greater dream! That's the plan, for now.

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