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Galloping Horse @ Soft Opening - 31st January 2014

Monday, May 20, 2013

Turning Negative into Positive

Positive thinking is the ability to feel negative when you have to and still maintain enough hope to keep on going. - Quoted

The same cycle repeats daily. Waking up with much hope and expectation and always ending up with disappointment and frustration. No one to comfort myself but me. Every single day is like a battle. The fight seems to be endless. Stuck in the same dilemma over and over again.

A friend of mine told me it's my fault for not pushing it. I let the time decides the path for me while all I did was waiting. This is just so not me. Knowing myself the way I handled events and group projects in university, I always pushed my members in getting their tasks done. The same person right now, has done nothing for past few months. Took several measures once in a while and that was it. I might be jealous of my friends who have started their new life chapters. Jealousy fades when I start to put myself in their shoes. What if I am not ready? Knowing that engineering is not primary interest, will I be up to carry the responsibility which will last me for more than half of my lifespan, God willing? Calming myself down every day that I am taking this chance to be more prepared when the time comes. As little faith that I have in myself, it is never an obstacle in my pursuit.

I wish not to blame anyone for the delay in my employment. I heard stories. The ugly ones. Hearing these accounts make me so easy to point fingers towards you-know-who. I guess I need to be realistic. Equality is an ideal acceptance which is impossible in this realistic world, when luck sometimes plays a key role in deciding your path, no matter how hard you try. No one ever says life is fair. When Machiavelli suggests the end justifies means and most corporations are doing it today, however, I will always fight back that effort is more important than the result. All I ask for is just a fair game, in which I think it is too much to ask for.

Positivity and hope may dwindle over time but I have always managed to raise it back up. When people bring you down, take it as the opportunity to learn to bring yourself up.

I have strategised my measures and now can only hope for the best and prepare for the worst.

Thanks to a friend who pushed me. I owe you one. =)

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