Busy

Wake up quite early today just to do my own laundry. (save money, kind of resist myself to use the laundry service provided at our hostel, for now.)

Life has been getting more hectic. Being a part of the committee of the upcoming events in UTP, English Carnival and Engineering Design Exhibition (EDX) 23, I have lots of commitment to be done this semester. Next week I have to prepare myself for the quiz, test and presentation. Busy life but I do enjoy it eventhough there are times that I almost have a breakdown.

Oh well, you only have studies life once in a life, should enjoy it to the max!

^_^

What goes wrong?

Not really stress over my studies now. Feel kind of relief after accomplishing those assignments. Yet, still have something wandering in my mind. The heart now feels so heavy. But, no one will ever notice. Even they do, they won't know how to comfort you. That is so pathetic. Being emotional now? What do you think?

I think I have put lots of effort in something but the outcome always disappoints me, to the max! I think they don't really get you. As I said, things only come when you don't expect it. I may feel happy about it though. But, when I need it, where are they?

I may get angry easily when I don't get the things that I want. I think I am lousy to be a bad person. I could not risk myself to be angry over someone. I am very soft-hearted, I suppose. Would not be staying angry for long, even though I want them to know how hurt I am somtime. They have no idea how much I am suffered inside. Wondering whether they are being inconsiderate or what? Perhaps to them, this is just normal. Meaning, I am being abnormal.

But, I am not blaming them for anything. It is my fault, too. Sometimes I am just carried away and get moody. Someone may get notice but they will never know why.

Feel like want to cry out loud but wondering, is it worth it? Start to feel so hopeless.

Cheers.

25 Things about Me

Finally I am done with assignment and report, for now. Look at the time, it is now 2.12 am. Tomorrow I will be having my Differential Equation quiz yet have not doing any revision. Think will do it tomorrow, I mean, later. Doing this tag to relax myself, and to ease my stress.

*****************

I was tagged by Jzune in Facebook but I think I shall do the tag here, in my blog in which I think it is where it belongs to.

I cannot access into my Facebook account at the moment due to typical lame internet connection of my hostel. But somehow the tag question asks to list 25 facts about me.

So, here it goes. (you may know some of them)

1. I am not a boy, not yet a man.
2. I am a Sarawakian.
3. I am a mixed of Iban and Chinese.
4. I speak more in Chinese (Mandarin to be more specific) compared to Iban.
5. I am the eldest with four younger brothers whose age are ranged from 6 to 17 in the year of 2009.
6. I am taking Chemical Engineering in Universiti Teknologi PETRONAS under PETRONAS scholarship. (frankly, still hesitate myself whether I have chosen the right path)
7. I like chocolate (cakes, bar, drinks, you name it) but don’t have chocolate-color attire though.
8. I am damn thin. BMI lower than normal range. I am underweight. Having low appetite.
9. I am a quite big fan of Titanic, the movie and its history, too.
10. I prefer female singers compared to men. High pitch attracts me.
11. I like Mathematics subject more than any other subjects.
12. I hate subjects which need memorizing (even though the teachers keep insisting it is more to understanding which I find it is less true)
13. I am addicted to online, currently especially Facebook.
14. I am not a student who studies all the time but still care much about my result. Am a last-minute kind of person.
15. Just realize that I am a guy who gets stress quite easily and hard to ease it.
16. I always compared myself with others in everything, not jealous but envy.
17. Do feel grateful of what I have at the moment. It can be better but I am contented enough.
18. I am a guy who always thinks negative about everything: studies, relationship, stuff. Pessimistic.
19. I get emotional easily but ironically, easily feel happy too over little things.
20. Things in my life somehow work in a funny way. I am not sure about others who may experience the same thing. When I expect things to happen, it does not. Then, I become emotional. When things happen out of my expectation, the emotional fades and happiness appears. It is just like a chain of event.
21. So, I do believe that “rainbow after the rain”.
22. Always choose to be alone even though I real need a companionship sometimes. (Feel that it is a common sense for others to see that you are lonely. I would say I am quite selfish in this matter. When others get to realize after you voice out, to me, sincerity is gone)
23. There is always someone in my mind when I am alone. Usually it will always be the same person. *secret*
24. Sometimes I feel that I care too much about others but they don’t see it. I am not expecting anything in return though. There is time that I feel disappointed because of this.
25. Has always been single. Never been in a relationship before but not sure whether I really need one now. Valentine is coming soon. Am not desperate, mind you.

Guess this is good enough. As if I am a making a resume for something. That’s all.

Rapid Transition

Somehow life would have a rapid change in a split of a second. Suddenly, I have lots of things to do. It is not that I am not postponing anything (okay, may be I did a bit). Everything just comes in one go. A bit stressful at the moment. Skipping to do my assignments, tutorials and stuff. Not in real mood to do everything.

Everyone feels the same. Some say the courses are so tough. I admit it is true. I am scared myself that I may not be able to catch up. Perhaps my old studying method is no longer effective for undergraduate studies. I may need to synchronize myself to suit the demand of the current situation.

Keep on reminding myself,
"Be strong, Steward. You can do it!"

Perak Government falls. My Uni is in the state. Wondering anything would happen? No time to care about that though.

It is fifteenth day of the month. Damn the time passes damn fast. Anyway, wish everyone

HAPPY CHAP GOH MEI!

It's February

It has been while. Been so packed with stuff. Busy with my whole new life as an undergraduate student. Even so, I am quite enjoyed. Can't believe that I have been in this Uni for one year already. Sooner or later, I am going to graduate soon, if I pass. Well, that is still long way to go.

Having our very first lab session last Monday. This was the very first time for everyone to gather together, I mean, all my coursemate in a single session in which we used to be separated into different groups when we were in Foundation. We were split into four different table for different experiments. Kind of odd is one thing. Another is that all those stuff are things that are yet to be learnt. Wondering how the report outcome will be without having idea what are we going to write about.

Taking photo after we were done with our experiments.

It was Book Fair 2009 on 4 and 5 February which was held at Pocket D. This was the first Book Fair and was organised by English Language Society which most of the committee were among our friends. Was there to support them by playing games, buying souvenirs and stuff. Quite tiring but is the experience and memories that count.

At the same time, it was Minggu Mesra Kampus (MMK) where all the clubs were setting up their booths. Has registered as a member of English Language Society and Institute of Chemical Engineers (IChemE), hope that I would spend my leisure time more beneficially rather than always stuck in the room and sleeping (even though I suppose to be studying). Fill up the time with buziness.

Finally our organic chemistry lecturer is back. Just start his class this week. A guy from Russian, again, accent problem, somehow don't understand his words. May be he is nervous, he seems to be hardly catching his breath when he speaks. I myself can't catch my breath, eventhough I am just listening!

All and all, Differential Equation lecture is the best!

*To CHIN SZE MEI, my roommate Jonathan's soulmate and
LIM CHIN TIAN, a friend from Kedah who is now studying in UTAR

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

=)