You Jump, I Jump

On the night of 14th April, 1912, somewhere in Atlantic Ocean, a ship hit an iceberg and foundered two and a half hours later. The shipwreck was discovered in the year 1985 and later, it inspired the production of one of the highest grossing films of all time in 1997. It is none other than Titanic. It's been 101 years since the tragedy but it continues to captivate the hearts of many by its stories. Okay, my heart at least. *imagine My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion is playing in the background*

Fascinated by the historic event, I can only wish the fictional love between Jack and Rose can be realised in real life. I mean, can you really find true love within a week? Jack and Rose first met at the stern on the night Rose attempted to commit suicide. Following day, both of them shared their stories to each other and later at night, they have dinner with other first-class passengers before Jack brought her to the real party at the steerage. They were "flying" on the next evening, the last day Titanic ever saw daylight. Rose was supposed to be on the lifeboat but she ran back to Jack, a scene that always brought me to tears. Jack and Rose tried their hardest to stay until the last moment before the ship finally went to the bottom. If my calculation was right, up to the point that Jack died, their relationship only lasted for three days. Regardless, Rose was ready to give it all to Jack.

If you are the movie enthusiast, you will notice in the last shot of the movie depicted photos of Rose during her younger days where she did all the things that Jack told her when he was still alive, getting married and having kids. She might have move on but Jack has become a part of her that she couldn't let go, even after eighty-four years.

True love and loyalty in relationship are usually only real in movies. Director has the liberty to plot the stories at his/her whims and fancies. In real life, we are the writers of our own stories but there is a twist, there are inevitable uninvited co-directors give you their so-called directions. If you are persistent, you can have it your way (Just like Burger King, lol). Otherwise, you are bounded to live up to what others think is right.

I never been in real relationship so I don't exactly fit in those lovers' shoes. I couldn't figure what could cause couples to break up despite they have been together for more than years. I thought they should understand each other better to accept their differences and all. Naive thought of mine, may be. Nonetheless, I can't help to feel envious of the joys and sorrows they get to share with each other.

Photo taken in Titanic Belfast, Northern Ireland

I guess I have been alone for too long. Wishing to live the love story of Jack and Rose. =)

Dreams vs Opportunities

When I was still in primary school, my aunt asked me what is my ambition. I told her that I like Mathematics.  She responded by saying that I should be an engineer. I wonder if you still remember back then you need to fill up a student profile and there was a section where you have to list out your ambitions and three columns were given. First column I wrote "Jurutera". As for second column, I put down "Guru" as I noticed something about myself during that time I like to pretend as a teacher, holding textbook and talking to invisible students. Other kids played "masak-masak" or Play Station and me played "cikgu". Lol. As for the third column, for some reason, I put "Pensyarah". How did I know that profession exist, I have no idea. May be because I mentioned I wanted to be a teacher and others said being a lecturer is better for higher pay. The ambition columns remained the same for six years of my primary school life.

Entering high school, comparing to other subjects, I did exceptionally well in Mathematics. It is not I am a genius that I can derive new equations or solve difficult problems or something. It just happened that I have deep passion in learning this particular subject. At that point of time, I became very certain this is the field that I wish to get into. No, never engineering. It is always Mathematics. All the way. Chemistry, Physics and Biology were fun and all but I wasn't sure I am up to study much of them. Plus, I thought when it came to university, you ought to study what you have interest in as compared to those compulsory subjects that you have to take for SPM. Attending a number of education fairs and the courses that I asked about was Mathematics. No, never engineering. For a course to be this specific was really not that popular. Even though such course is offered, it is available overseas mostly. I thought to myself at that time, "Why not taking Education in Mathematics then? Get the best of both of my interest." This dream remained as dream when I applied to study chemical engineering in UTP, just right after I finished my SPM. It just seemed the only option that I have the time. As the saying goes, "opportunity doesn't come twice".

Three and a half years studying in UTP before I was away for my internship, I tried to  develop interest in the program that I was studying. The matter didn't go easy when I was a PETRONAS scholar in which after I graduated, I supposedly bonded to serve the company for at least 10 years. It was as though that my future was already set on the day when I accepted the offer. Was anxious at first but overtime, tired of arguing with myself, perhaps this was for the best and decided to go along. Initially I was offered to intern at Malaysia Liquefied Natural Gas (MLNG) where I hope could rekindle my interest in oil & gas industry. The next thing I know I was given the opportunity to have my industrial training with Formula One Team in the United Kingdom. Formula One was so not related to my studies but how often would you have such chance? Contemplating between the two options, I decided to go overseas and hence, leaving chemical engineering behind for seven months.

Back in UTP for final year, I chose Process Plant Engineering for my major. The courses were pretty attractive to me especially Process Optimization. You don't say, it utilized mathematical concepts to solve problems. It was the very last course of my degree studies and managed to ace it. Found some glimpse of hope there, this might be my true calling. Passed PETRONAS structured interview and get recommended, now my only hope is to get the right job. Called for a chit-chat session the other day and the position offered was Production Engineer. Apparently, I didn't get it. At the tiniest part of my heart, I felt contented despite I have done my best in the interview.

I am envious of those who are able to go after their childhood dreams. My brother, for instance, he gets to pursue culinary arts in which I believe he will be an awesome chef someday because he has the fire within him. I need to add oil into my own fire if I wish to become a high flyer. Better stop just talking about it, I guess I have to do something about it. Walk the talk.

I may not be able to pursue my old dream but definitely not letting go the opportunity that is given to me to fulfil greater dream! That's the plan, for now.

Warner Bros. Studio Tour London - The Making of Harry Potter (Part 1)

Two days ago was the first anniversary of the opening of Warner Bros. Studio Tour London. It reminded me that I was present at the red carpet launching event. 31st March 2012, one of highlights in my life where I get to meet the cast of Harry Potter films including Tom Felton!

Ever since Harry Potter film series ended, I became very engrossed with Harry Potter. I never read the books before watching the movies. I wasn't really into the series until the last instalment. There was a magic moment in Deathly Hallow Part 2 that strikes me and sparks my interest. It all started with reading Harry Potter wiki and eventually, the seven novels. I read the seven books more than once. I watched the eight movies more than twice. To make it short, I become a fan of Harry Potter. Somewhat.

If it was not because my friend told me, I wouldn't know that there was a studio tour for Harry Potter films to be launched in London at the end of March 2012, in which I would still be in England at the time for my internship. As tickets were opened for booking, I bought mine almost immediately with no hesitation. Bought the ticket in February but my visit would only be on 6th of April. All I need to do was just to wait for the day to come until I saw a lucky draw contest at their official website pertaining to free entry to launching event of the studio where you have the opportunity to meet up with some of the casts. I was thrilled. I signed up for the fun of it without expecting to win because I never won a lucky draw. What is the odd that I won two entry tickets! :D

The ticket mentioned that we need to present at the event by 1.00pm although the event started at 3.00pm. We waited for two hours in the cold British weather. The day showed signs that it might rain but thankfully it didn't. There was a host entertaining the fans while waiting for the cast arrival. He seemed to be quite a celebrity since the Brits were cheering for him. Me and my friend were like, "who is he?". A number of Harry Potter soundtracks were being played. The studio staff were superbly friendly!

Waiting for cast arrival.

The crowd 

Main studio building

One of the film posters

Studio entrance

My very first red carpet event!

The clock struck 3.30pm and Tom Felton was the first one to appear, followed by other actors/actresses. Let's the photos do the talking.

Didn't manage to take closer shot of Tom Felton (Draco Malfoy) since he was never near to the spot where we were standing.

Bonnie Wright (Ginny Weasley) 

Rupert Grint (Ronald Weasley) 

David Bradley (Argus Filch, the caretaker) 

 David Thewlis (Remus Lupin)

 Chris Rankin (Percy Weasley)

Evanna Lynch (Luna Lovegood) 

Harry Melling (Dudley Dursley) 

Alfred Enoch (Dean Thomas) 

Warwick Davis (Griphook & Professor Flitwick)

Daniel Radcliffe and Emma Wastson didn't present at the event due to schedule conflict. It would be so complete if they could make it. Oh well, I guess I was lucky enough to see some of the cast. It was a pretty long day but for a fan, it was totally worth it.

Rest in peace, Richard Griffifth (Uncle Vernon). (31 July 1947 - 28 March 2013)

**********

After waiting for a month, it was all a false hope. Waiting for job placement from PETRONAS, reminded me the time when I was waiting for overseas internship placement. I was the last one to be placed. They say good thing comes to those who wait. Another saying, "Save the best for last". All the seniors were saying the same thing, "Relax,", "Chill first,", "Once you started working, there will be no time to rest at all." I have been resting for three months. I think I have enough. I might have missed  the previous opportunity, who knows the next chance can be better. There's the silver lining. 

Anyway, congratulation to those who have their placements and all the best in your careers. As for the rest, let's pray for the best, mates! =)

When one door closes, another opens.

Autumn is back!

3rd October seems to be one of the dates that is hard to be forgotten. How should I? Doing those progress and internship reports and seeing this particular date appeared on very front page keeps on reminding me the first day when I started my internship in Mercedes AMG PETRONAS Formula One Team (it was Mercedes GP PETRONAS Formula One Team back then). Remembered the first day we were first greeted by Ross Brawn while waiting in the reception (in which we have no idea who he was at that point!), meeting our fellow supervisors and not to forget our big sister, Emily Landon. Never been surrounded by so many English people in my life. Lol.

Welcoming dinner with managers and chief operating officer

When we first reached England, the autumn was just about to start. Throughout my internship, I get to experience nearly all seasons. Summer, I have it since I was born here in Malaysia. For the first three months, we traveled every weekends using the pool cars that were given to us.

How often you get to drive Mercedes cars? Hehe. I miss our cars. :(

Why am I reminiscing all these moments? Just want to pen it down before the memories diminish off my mind. More to come!

Embracing the arrival of autumn!

Final Quarter

Back in UTP for final year final semester! Today is first of October which marks the beginning of final quarter of year 2012. Life has been pretty same old, same old for the past few months. Rushing through deadlines to complete projects. Oh, result for last semester was released last week and it is the best result that I ever get in UTP. After consistent drop from semester to semester (including internship), it is about time to get a fairly high pointer. I am very grateful for that. Another 3 months before all these end.

In the need of new hobbies to distract myself from thoughts that keep on invading my head. If this continues, I might explode. Have all these stress and emotions suppressed within are really a discomfort, feel like there is a heavy stone is hitting my chest and I have troubles to lift it away. Feelings that I am not sure if anyone will really comprehend. People say take it easy but I choose to live the hard way. I started to think that I have compulsive self-destructive behavior. Lol. Lately, I can't stand watching dramas and listening to songs as I easily related myself to the contents, always reminds me the pain of life that I have to bear. I may be strong today, but I am not sure about tomorrow or day after. Dare not to foresee how's the future may turn out to be and decided to live this life day by day at the moment.

Changing the subject, it's been exactly a year ago when I started my journey to London for my internship. Seeing my juniors uploaded their photos on Facebook makes me miss those times so much. Just feeling very nostalgic as browsing my own albums when we all get all excited taking photos almost everywhere upon reaching the foreign land. Ah, memories. Wish to relive those moments again someday.

With the remaining time that I have here, I really want to cherish the moment with sweet memories. At the same time, I have been in constant dilemma whether I want to further studies or start working. If I will have the chance, I would prefer to continue somewhere else for a brand new start, an option that seems to be impossible to achieve. In the end, I will always fall back to the decision to work with PETRONAS, God willing, for the next 10 years. Pray hard that I won't get face any midlife crisis at the point and start to whine how regret I am back then. Lol. It is just harder to make up your mind at this age when you cannot only think about yourself as there are others dependent on you. I am not sure myself what I really want in this life either. Sigh.

Pretending to be someone that I am not has been part of me lately. A perfect disguise what is hidden within. Let go and move on. A slow and painful process.

Sign off.