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Galloping Horse @ Soft Opening - 31st January 2014

Saturday, October 31, 2009

End of October

31 October 2009: very last day of the month. Time has flew super duper fast! Can't believe we are only left with 2 months before new year 2010 arrives. T.T

It has been a tough week with 3 tests in a row. Screwing up my FM paper on Tuesday and this followed by MEB paper on Wednesday. IMSE paper on Thursday, the questions weren't that difficult. Just that, I was not well-prepared mentally. Still "mourning" over my past tests. Seriously at that point, I don't really care. I was reading notes but it was so hard to get them stucked into my head. They refuse to stay there. My mind wanted to fail me... ='(

I was so emotionally disturbed. I am not that smart despite of the achievement back in high school. Every time I reconnect with my high school friends, they expect me to be the same, the typical top achiever me, just like back in old time. Sadly, I am not. I am no longer the guy who used to be on top anymore. This does not give me pressure though. I am just disappointed that I cannot stay consistent in my performance. I know I can do better but the problem is, I am just lazy. What for working so hard for something that I don't really have interest in? Studying, revision, doing assignments, et cetera, all the motivations are coming by force. They don't come spontaneously. And, I am tired of forcing them to come.

I don't really like it when someone comes to me and say, "don't study lar..". That is the time I have my motivation which it comes by itself. If not, I won't be bother studying at all. Sometimes, sorry to say, I am really annoyed by this.

I don't have commitment problem, frankly speaking. You will never be questioning me. The key in accomplishing a task is the passion. It is something that you WANT to do, not you HAVE to do. There is a difference. I have passion in thing that I WANT to do.

Mummy called just now half way typing this post. Guess she get to know that I am being down right now ever since last call. Mummy always knows and she knows what's the best.

Still, am seeking for passion in my studies. I always try to believe that thing happens for a reason. I always try to believe that this journey will lead to a good ending. It can be bumpy sometimes, but it's worth to go for. Every time, my belief turns out to be right. =)

I know, it has been so negative for the past few posts. Oh well, it has been a real personal blog. So, just let it be here.

Till here for now.
*Can someone buy me chocolate? hehe...


WK Chua said...

Hold on...You'll be back home in a few more weeks. NIce profile picture by the way :P

Steward Baba said...

It is not the matter of being home (perhaps a bit). It is more to the reasons why must I struggle here, still..