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Dear Uncle, my son is obsessed with Manchester United. He missed his father's funeral to watch the final on TV. When we come home from the cemetery, he was dancing with joy over a goal. It was most inappropriate and the mourners were deeply shocked.
Dear Despairing Widow, you have a serious problem here. No person in his right mind would celebrate a goal that was so obviously offside. The ref must have TOTALLY blind. Ask your son to check the action replays and he will see the final was STOLEN from AC Milan.
Dear Uncle, 20 minutes after my son Jason went to school, a message popped up for him on the family computer. His teacher wants to meet him after school at a hotel. She signed it "smoochykins". He is 17, and she is 30. What should I do?
Dear Concerned Mother, I understand your concern. Instant message program should automatically log out after 5 minutes of inactivity. Upgrade to version 7.0 to prevent this problem recurring.
Dear Uncle, my husband bought a home security video system last year. I came home early yesterday and noticed it showed two people kissing in the back garden. Although the picture was fuzzy and grainy, I realised it was my husband and my neighbour. We have been married for 18 years. What should I do?
Dear Broken-hearted Wife, this problem is easily fixed. Use a high impedance cable, set the resolution "High Definition" and get an accelerated graphic card. Fuzzy and grainy images will be a thing of the past, and you will get a crystal clear images from your back garden.
Despairing widow
Dear Despairing Widow, you have a serious problem here. No person in his right mind would celebrate a goal that was so obviously offside. The ref must have TOTALLY blind. Ask your son to check the action replays and he will see the final was STOLEN from AC Milan.
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Dear Uncle, 20 minutes after my son Jason went to school, a message popped up for him on the family computer. His teacher wants to meet him after school at a hotel. She signed it "smoochykins". He is 17, and she is 30. What should I do?
Concerned Mother
Dear Concerned Mother, I understand your concern. Instant message program should automatically log out after 5 minutes of inactivity. Upgrade to version 7.0 to prevent this problem recurring.
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Dear Uncle, my husband bought a home security video system last year. I came home early yesterday and noticed it showed two people kissing in the back garden. Although the picture was fuzzy and grainy, I realised it was my husband and my neighbour. We have been married for 18 years. What should I do?
Broken-hearted Wife
Dear Broken-hearted Wife, this problem is easily fixed. Use a high impedance cable, set the resolution "High Definition" and get an accelerated graphic card. Fuzzy and grainy images will be a thing of the past, and you will get a crystal clear images from your back garden.
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Credit to Reader's Digest, January 2009 (page 25&26)
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