Little Update

My new pet dog, which makes her the third pet in my family. Her name is Ruby, our first ever female pet dog. Still two months old, I guess. Loves to bark, for no reason. A very pampered little puppy, I would say. Dog grows up so fast. She may be friendly with me now but after my next come back, she will not recognise me anymore.



Keep on listening to this Korean song, Nobody by Wonder Girls. I start to explore more about Korean music at the moment. I don't understand what are they singing but I find that their music is kind of nice.

Tomorrow will be going back to my long house for Gawai. Will blog about it if I could. Stay tuned. :)

SELAMAT ARI GAWAI
GAYU GURU GERAI NYAMAI
OO..... HA!

One Week at Home

It is 27 May. Nothing special about today. It is just that I have been 19's club for exactly one month. But, I still behave like the old me, not that "old", it is the another one. Refuse to grow up so fast, well, being childish is fun. Once you become like your dad, you won't expect yourself to behave like what you are now, will you?

I get myself new addiction lately. One of them is Plurking. Wondering if most of you heard about it. If you see at the side bar, Plurk thingy is the one under "My Updates". Plurking is a kind of social network website. You can make friends from there too. Unlike other typical website, you cannot upload photos or create your shoutout, whatever you can do in Facebook or Friendster. You can only like post a message or text (known as "Plurk"), just like updates accordance to the timeline. What is so fun about that? They include this "karma" feature to evaluate your activity in this website. So, the main goal will be like maximizing your karma. The highest stage will be NIRVANA. Plus, you can also respond to those plurks that your friends make, just like you are commenting on your friends' status in Facebook. The one in Plurk is more interactive, with emoticons. By the way, you can modify the layout as well. The one below is mine.

Yes, I am a TITANIC fanatic. What can I say?

Join Plurk here, if you feel want to. Just for the fun of it.

Restaurant City, a new application that I have just added few days ago, in Facebook. It is so addictive even though it seems to be like a simple game. This game just reminds me of The Sims. Can't wait for The Sims 3! Back to the story, the game is about creating your own restaurant, hiring your own employee to run it. Also, trying to get ingredients to serve the meals for your customers.
For those who are playing the game, I need tomatoes!

I get addicted to play O2Jam. I am a no-no piano player but playing this game makes feel like one. But, even I only have 7 buttons to hit, the game is never easy. Keep on playing Identity and Identity II (the lowest level, of course). I don't have Identity III.

This is the picture for those who miss me. :) The picture is taken today.
I just have my hair cut right after I reached home. I prefer short hair over long hair, although I am kind of losing hair at the same time. I am wearing UTP T-shirt as my pyjamas. Long sleeves, what? The guy in red shirt and wears glasses, he is my brother, the second son. Currently in form 5.

*Dad is now back at home after being hospitalized for few days due to Malaria. Glad that everything is fine now.
**You (you know who you are) don't feel bad over anything. You are among the nicest person that I will always remember. ^_^

Fragile Friendship

Guess that the mood for me to write blog only comes when it is midnight. The fact is, I only have the mood to do things around this hour: washing the dishes (if being asked), cleaning the toilet (if being asked), ironing the shirt (if being asked or own will), studying (if have to) et cetera. I think I am a nocturnal creature in the form of homo sapien. Humans wake up at 8am, I wake up at 2pm; they sleep before twelve (should be), I only start to yawn when the sun about to rise. Enough said.

Yesterday I was chatting with a good friend and he was sharing his problem with me. I am a no-no advisor but I am a good listener. It seems like everyone has dilemma when it comes to friendship. Friendship, how would we define it? It is a relationship between two or more persons which requires no conditions to be built upon. We need not trade anything for the friendship we make. All we need is only, well, ourselves and I would say above all is, sincerity. Some are just being mere friends. Some become close of yours, and some turn out to be special ones that you treasure so dearly. Some, well, become more than just friends. There are many level of friendship, I can say. Even so, that does not mean, we cannot care for all. We can. We always can. It is not the matter of time, how long you have known each other or still stay in touch. Friendship comes purely from your heart, the sincerity of making friends. It is the matter how much you still care for one another.

Well, not every friendship has good ending despite the beginning is so wonderful.
Back in primary school, I used to have a very close buddy. We spent most of time together; in class, recess time, everything. Both of us would always stick together. Even back at home, we usually phoned just to crap stuff. Even though I was away to Peninsular for 2 years, our friendship never faded when I returned. And this closeness remained until form 3. The entire sudden, thing started to change. It is not me who changed, it was him. Ever since PMR, he totally became another person. He seemed to lose his way. I can no longer recognize who is him. He is not a friend that I used to know. And so, our closeness started to diminish, day by day. Form 4 and 5, we didn’t spend much time as before. I am not sure whether I have to feel sad that our friendship has to be this way, until today even though none of us has wronged each other. No one betrayed anyone. It is just that, I don’t know what to say. He is the one who changes, not me. I still can recall that he added me in Friendster but I didn’t even know it was him since he was using nickname and the profile picture, is so different compared the last time I ever met him. I hardly hear from him now. Anyway, do hope he is doing fine now although each of us is going separate way. Guess everyone has his choice. He has his and I have mine. Only he himself can help him, no one else.

When I think back, everything is just so odd. I mean, you are so close to someone. Wait, let me do the correction. You WERE so close to someone and within a short time, distant between two friends can just progress unnoticeably, until a certain extent that, we hardly talk anymore. Just like being acquaintance, back to square one. This is very saddening and disappointing, I would say. Those who get to experience this, would not feel really good when thinking about it. Friendship is fragile, don’t you think? If both parties take thing for granted; being ignorant and blind (when I was used to be); no one is being considerate and sensitive and list goes on, relationship won’t really last long. Ask yourself: short-term friendship or long-term relationship? It is all your choice.

Sometime I am worried. Sometime I am scared, eventhough I have special friend that I truly trust. Somehow I do know that he won't change. May be I think too much. I always tell myself that all I need to do is to believe. If I don’t believe, I won’t get anything. If I believe, I won’t lose anything either.

This is just my thought. You know that I always care. =)

*When we are close, we are busy. When we are free, we are distant. Even so, you never fail to make me laugh. And, I am still laughing. Thank you for making my day. :)
**Friendship is a promise made in the heart. Silent. Unwritten. Unbreakable by distance. Unchangeable by time. Don't ever break the promise.

January 2009 Memories

Every semester has been a memorable one, including this semester. I have gone through quite a lot in this 4 months time. Things that I get to experience, moments that I get to cherish. I get to live every single second that I have, I suppose. My mindset changes ever since I stepped into undergraduate studies. It is kind of drastic change, I can say. Not physically, but in terms of mentality and emotionally. I am still an emotional guy though, that is my inborn personality.

Frankly, my Foundation life was a miserable one, I would say, especially the second semester. Guess that I hold on for too long, and that is the culprit that causes the hurt, pain, loneliness, whatever pathetic term that you could think of throughout that period. It was a hard time. Nevertheless, as time goes by, I learn to be stronger, day by day, to endure the unpleasant feeling. I really have to thank my friends who are always there for me. I thank to God that I have someone to turn to when I was down. The ones who have changed me, indirectly, and become the positive and confident of me today, I hope. Even so, the first half of this semester, I mean, before the mid semester break, the Foundation drama almost repeated itself though but, at least I have learnt to bear with those. Think that I am still blind and innocent, thought that thing can go as you want it to. Apparently, that is not the way it works, unfortunately.

Alright, let go all those negative stuff and remember those good moment. Well, since this is my very first semester for my undergraduate studies, meaning that we get to spend more time with our own coursemates compared to Foundation. This is true when it comes to lab session. ME, EE, PE & CV won't be dealing with toluene, hydrochloric acids, GC et cetera, do they?

Our very first lab session - Physical Chemistry Lab

Towards the end of February, we were having Foundation Graduation Dinner at Water Sanctuary Resort (something like that). Nice venue but not the food. Somemore it was raining that day, and it didn't make thing any better. Well, it didn't stop us from taking pictures though.







7 February, it was Sze Mei's birthday. I remember this day because we went to Taiping to watch Chinese Orchestra performance from Taiwan. The last performance was somewhat boring though because it was very long-winded.
Before heading back to campus, I still can recall that we went mamak-ing at the stall by the roadside. What have I ordered? That one I don't remember. I just know that it was around 1am when we have reached our hostel.

Soaring The Eagle, by far, is the most memorable moment for me. I really gain much from the camp. It is not about mere Total Well Being (TWB), I get to know the real meaning of true friendship. =)

I would say this is the camp has changed me ever since, in a positive way. My blindness is faded. Ignorance is diminished. :)

Proceed to subsequent month, well, it is the lovely month, doesn't it? It's April! My birthday month. I would say this year is the best celebration in UTP, even though didn't have a real celebration. It is the moment that I get to spend with friends and the thought that counts. Before I forget, the early of this month, we went to Praise Girls' Home for our Moral Social Work. Since Yi Herng has already blogged about it, I was thinking of uploading the video into YouTube and embedded it here. Well, I only have the chance to do it now. Needless to explain the reason.

I was really impressed by the senior there. Despite that she is being abandoned by her parents, she doesn't complaint. They have strong faith in God. They believe God has plan for them. They love their God as much as God loves them. I really admire their gratitude and faith. We, the fortunate folks, still whine and whine. Everything is never enough for us.

When it comes to May, well, the heat of final exam is on and everyone is going crazed over it. Nothing in particular to talk about it. If you have been reading my old posts, it likes a series of events; from the post I complaint about Oil & Gas till the end of my final. It is all stated there, every detail, every inch of each moment.

The highlight for this semester is that I manage to get myself a special friend. People like to use the term "best friend" but to me, "Special friend" is somewhat preferable. It is so hard to find a friend that really understand you and will never let you down. Everyone makes mistakes sometimes, and hurt your feeling. He never does. Well, this is what makes my friend special. And I only realized after STE. He has always been there. Every moment that I get to spend with him is more meaningful that the time I get to spend with my roomie, like whole day long. Oh well, unfortunately that is the not case if you know who is my roommate. He always makes me feel contented, merely by his presence. Even so, I am scared, from what I see that happens to my friends. Thing could change drastically. Really hope thing won't change. Hope this does not sound weird, but I miss him everyday. =)

******************************

Get this from Justin's blog. And he gets it from someone else.
Best friends are friends,

who will accompany you all the while, no matter what time it is
who will turn up even though you didn't ask
who will wait for your call without asking you to call
who will take initiative to keep in touch with you
who will spend the time with you even though he has something more important to do
who will constantly message you to comfort you
who will worry you more than himself
who will try to diverge your focus to make you happy
who will reply to you even though he already sleeps
who will say sorry because he couldn't make it
who will spread the news for you even though you didn't ask
who will send you regards when you really need it

I am trying to.

January 2009 Semester

This semester marks a whole new beginning in my studies life. A transition from foundation into undergraduate, a total different system with all those courses that I have to take. No more basic subjects like Physics and Chemistry. Now it is about time to know about my program: Chemical Engineering. In the beginning of the semester, I have kind of worried that I may not be able to catch up. Guess it takes time to fit myself in. As time goes by, I start to get to used to it, and slowly, I have really tried my very best in everything. Not to say distractions are available everywhere: Laptop to online, bed to sleep, laziness but THANK GOD no DoTA addiction!

Anyway, this semester I took 7 courses which were:
PHYSICAL CHEMISTRY
ORGANIC CHEMISTRY
DIFFERENTIAL EQUATIONS
MORAL STUDIES
ACADEMIC WRITING
INTRODUCTION TO OIL AND GAS INDUSTRY
TENNIS (Co-curriculum)

PHYSICAL CHEMISTRY
Lecture:
This is the pre-requisite for my courses in my subsequent semesters. A very important subject, in deed. We get to learn all those Dalton's Law, Raoult's Law, whatever Laws (definitely not "lawlaw") from this course. In fact, we have learnt all these since Foundation. I would say Foundation helps Chemical Engineering students a lot because it is like we are doing recap only, with additional facts and details. I won't say this subject is boring, it is just okay. The lecturer, well, I would say, at least is better than my Foundation Chemistry lecturer. He likes to mention the relevance of our course to the industry in which is a good thing. At least we know where could apply this knowledge rather than just mere studying it only. But, there is one incident that I will never forget, in which I think a lecturer should not have done that. There was once that Lian Hung asked him question and he couldn't answer. His reply was, "Are you trying to test me?". Enough said.

Lab session:
Our lab session is okay, I guess. But the only problem is that each time we are doing our experiments, the topic is the one that we have not learnt, yet. Every time when it comes in doing report, we just simply write what we think is right. And, I don't copy and paste. :)

Tutorial sessions:
I don't pay attention. I always do something else.

Final exam:
This was my last paper, the day I was rushing going home. I didn't really focus much on my revison for this one. My emotion was over me. The question was okay but I have done my best for it. Just waiting for the result. I leave that to God.

ORGANIC CHEMISTRY
Lecture:
Interesting subject. A knowledgeable and enthusiastic lecturer and this cannot be questioned. I only argued over the syllabus. Sometimes he lectured topics that is so unnecessary. Just want to scare us and make our life miserable. He almost left a permanent bad impression in me, and also my fellow coursemates by simply canceling our quizzes with no replacement! And also a sudden pop test just within days. How come such lecturer exist? Eventually, he gave us the replacement and also cancel the test, towards the end of lecture week. Think he is trying to be lovable. He is a good lecturer, actually. But not in teaching.

Lab Session:
Got this one Sudanese demonstrator, have made detest him from our very first lab session. I did nothing wrong (I think) and suddenly he asked me to do some demonstration, sort like a punishment. I was so dissatisfied. Never like him much till now? I am not that bad, later I just let things go. Anyway, interesting lab while playing with those chemicals.

Tutorial Session:
Worst tutorial ever!

Final Exam:
I am dead. So sad.

DIFFERENTIAL EQUATIONS
Maths subject. Love this to the max. The lecturer is the best for this semester, our dear Madam Azizan Zainal Abidin. She has a deep sense of humor despite she has that serious look. First time I saw lecturer using Microsoft Word for her lecture notes which is unconventional. Really thank God to have her as our lecturer. She just reminded me of Madam Hanita back in Foundation. Miss these two lecturers, and the class of course.

Tutorial Session:
She didn't use the tutorial sheets that were given. She just conducted like a normal class, still like the session though.

Final exam:
Heart break. Questions are way harder than past years. Out of my expectation. I still love DE anyway. ;)

MORAL STUDIES
Lecture:
The most pyschotic lecturer. His speech always get my mind distorted. Those who cannot stand may go crazy! The syllabus is not accordance to the textbook. I don't know what to study for my final. He has his own idea of topic. Conflict-Resolution thingy with all those Boolean Logic, Conservative-Liberal Analysis, Formal Logic et cetera are not found in textbook but are being tested in final. Good luck to those who are taking this course next semester. (Pray that I won't need to repeat.)

Final Exam:
Expected, just cook, crap everything. No point studying.

ACADEMIC WRITING
Lecture:
It is the most boring subject but we were fortunate enough to have Mr. Razol to diminish the sleepiness in class. We need much, in deed. Otherwise, Chua will be sleeping during the whole class. This course is still important though, don't take it lightly. We will need it someday.

Final Exam:
APA........APA.............APA.........................APA...............APA?

INTRODUCTION TO OIL AND GAS INDUSTRY
Lecture:
The most disorganised lecture with so many lecturers to teach the course since there is upstream and downstream, different specialization. OnG is interesting but not the implementation. Everything is a chaos. With last minute project (Energy Game) and test during study week makes me hates it. But I could not. Because, they got mention "Bintulu" in the lecture since Bintulu is one of the biggest producer for LNG. So, I love OnG!

TENNIS
Kind of regret taking this course because I am a total noob in this game. Anyway, the class has been very fun though. The coach, our dear Mr. Jam is a nice guy and he makes all of us pass the course. I get to know playing a bit of tennis. Just a bit, don't try to challenge me.

Guess that's about all. All the best for upcoming semester.
Next: Memories of January 2009 Semester

New Layout

It took half of my day to do a make over for my blog today. This humble blog is almost one year old and guess it is about time to add some fresh elements to the layout. I get this layout from here.

There are lots of templates available and finally I decided to use this one. Like the theme music and also the font, Georgia. Don't know why, this particular font fascinates me. Unfortunately, the standard font used in writing report is either ARIAL or TIMES NEW ROMAN, which is so monotonous. And also, I have changed my blog name, in which I think will be my default name for this blog ever since. It fits perfectly. :)

Just a reminder for you: If you wish to change your layout, do remember to keep your link list first because my link list varnishes after I changed my layout. I need time to relink everyone's blog. That is the one that takes lots of my time just now. If your blog is not in my link list, do tell me. I will add as soon as possible.

Have been at home for 2 days now and so far, I have done nothing yet. This morning I just went to JPN to renew IC since I no longer looked the same when I was 12 years old: lesser hair and more pimples. The imigression officer won't allow me to pass by later on. Anyway, I do have some planning this 2 months holiday.

1. I think it is about time to take my car license. I don't even get my "L" yet. I also want to drive when I am back to UTP afterwards.

2. High demand of photoshopping skill in UTP, I have allocated some time to have few lessons of using Adobe Photoshop from my teacher. Hope that I know how to use it and don't ever forget it.

It always blank, like this everytime I open it.

3. While waiting for the SIMS 3 to be released, I am now playing O2Jam. Still learning, a beginner. Seem-to-be-simple-but-not-really game needs a lot of training to master it.
Current learning: Cold Scream, Euphorium, Missing, You Are Borned to be Loved

4. Gathering with high school friends since all the high school gang is now graduated from Matriculation already.

5. GAWAI DAYAK celebration which will be on first June. Long time I didn't go back to my long house already, 2 years to be exact.

6. The most anticipated one will be the upcoming SARAWAK TRIP with fellow batchmates of UTP. Can't wait to see you guys over here, in the Land of Hornbill. See you all soon.

Somehow do hope this break will pass by as soon as possible. I can't wait to go back to UTP. =)

Picture's Day

Well, not really. My mind is not so efficient in writing anything today, so I just post some pictures. An enthusiastic blogger will always update his blog, no matter what. But, even uploading these pictures have really got on my nerves. Well, here it goes.

UTP Chancellor Complex Mr. Ridhuan (foundation second semester English lecturer) said that it should be "Complex of Chancellor" in which it is more grammatically correct.

Academic Blocks

Most visited place in UTP

Chindian in January 2008 (PETRONAS Appreciation Dinner)

Chindian in July 2008 (Chinese Gathering)

Chindian in January 2009

Last Chindian gathering, for January 2009

These two went to Pangkor during Valentine

Chua, me, Laura - Admin building - RCH paper work

STE (March 2009)

My birthday card for this year

from: CHUA WEE KHENG, CHAN YI HERNG, HON LIAN HUNG

Get stalked mamak-ing at V5, at 2am.

Big Apple donuts

Coffee bean (I prefer Starbucks)

Jenga Tower

Sarawak Laksa

Just have one this morning. I like this over Penang Laksa. Just like Penang people prefer Penang Laksa other than any laksa. :)

Teh C-peng special

To friends that are coming to Bintulu in this coming trip, wondering where you all would like to go.

Oh ya! Daddy bought a new handphone. So, I will be using his old N70. I know it is a bit outdated but at least it is still functioning. And, it has 3G capability which supports video call. I have just upgraded my celcom number too. So, anyone, you can video call if you feel want to. =)

At Last

Traveling alone is an experience of a kind, I must say. Have been going home alone all these while but the feeling this time is a bit, different. Perhaps it is due to the timings or can be other factors, I am not really sure.

Departed from KL Central at 3am this morning and reached LCCT about one hour later. For the first time, traveling in a bus, during midnight. The atmosphere was so cold, it chilled me to the bone. The coldness in the bus reminds me of Chancellor Hall. Regret for not taking my coat. Was shivering for an hour, along the journey.

LCCT is now upgraded. New shops such as Old Town White Coffee, Zon Euphorium, Mary Brown, The Body Shop et cetera are now opened for business. I am not sure how long they have been there since it has been six months I didn't go back. For the first time also, I went to the airport so early in the morning. I mean, real early, as early as 4.ooam. I could see some of the people there sleeping on the floor which is kind of new to me to see. Well, perhaps no one will be doing that during days. Not forgetting there were people wearing face mask. Guess everyone knows what it's for.

My flight would be at 9 and it was 5 hours to go before boarding time. I couldn't sleep at the same time and I don't want to because I am afraid that I may oversleep and miss my flight. How do I spend those time? At first, I was having my breakfast at McD. Since there is no power socket available around, I went to Coffee Bean to have a sip of drink of Pure Chocolate Ice Blended so that I can switch on my laptop. But, I cannot online. Something is not right with wireless there. The webpage displayed just reminds me of UTP, again. End up playing the music videos and do some planning for upcoming semester.



The time passed by and it was times to onboard. With this heavy feeling in my heart, I am flying home and welcomed by mom and my youngest brother at Bintulu airport. At that instant, loneliness started to fade away.

*For your information, Molly and I are just being mere close friends, nothing more, nothing less. The "you" that I mentioned in my posts is not her and Molly knows it. So, stop doing your rootless speculation, of anything.
**Yes, I always went to v2 cafe to have my lunch and dinner, but frankly, I ate alone. Take it or leave it. That is the truth.
***I didn't manage to sleep since the paper ended yesterday. Tired. Off to sleep mode.

Yet to be home

I was done with Physical Chemistry paper around 7 hours ago. In other words, I am done with my final exam for my very first semester of undergraduate studies. Overall, I would say this time I really kind of screwing up my papers, starts from the first day, Academic Writing until the paper just now. Nothing is felt to be right while answering all those papers. Let bygone be bygone. I don't expect much from this semester. I have the feeling that I may not get into Dean's List. Really have to erase all this thought from my mind to enjoy my 2 months holiday. For those who still have papers to sit for this week and next week, hold on, yah. It will be over soon, sooner than you thought. Till then, all the best.

Now I am posting this entry from KL Central. In few hours to go I will be heading to LCCT and fly off to hometown at 9am. To tell the truth, I am a bit worried to be at the airport due to swine flu outbreak. May God bless my journey all the way back and reach home safely. Same goes for those who will be flying home. Take good care of yourself.

Will post more when I get home.
Expected future post(s):
1. Memories of January 2009 Semester
2. Reflection of January 2009 Semester

*Glad that we get to talk before I leave just now. Won't feel complete if I just go off. :)

Eric, here's the picture.

*********************

朋友是没有任何形式的
就算不常把关心挂在嘴边
不见面不联络
那也不代表不珍惜
只要彼此心里的某个地方
住着彼此的影子
..............
那就是真正的朋友

The Day before Today

Today, I mean, yesterday since it has already passed twelve, I have been so restless. For the last two days, I kept on sleeping, a lot. Really a lot. On Sunday, I woke up at 12pm. After having lunch, I studied a bit and fell back to sleep at 2, until the clock strikes 6. Back at night, I went to bed quite early but before that, I hardly did any revision. Yesterday, woke up early just to do my last laundry for the last semester. The weather was not on my side, the condition is too nice to dry my clothes. In the end, I have to use the dryer. Wasted another five fifty cents coins. Oh well, it was the last one anyway. I was lingering whole day. I just flipped through my lecture notes for Physical Chemistry because I don't know what more to read. It is the matter of remembering all those formulae only.

Frankly, I was a bit down. Not really down, more to being emotional. It has been a long time I didn't feel this way. The day that I used to anticipate for, which is today, is the one also that makes me sad. As I always mention again and again, time flies but this time it flew very fast. My exam week is going to an end in few hours time. Right after my last paper this evening, I will be leaving UTP, perhaps around 7 since my bus to KL will be at 9. Will be staying at KL Central overnight, may be and take the earliest bus to LCCT as my flight back to Bintulu will be at 9am of the following today. Kind of rush, don't you think? It is like it is not even 24 hours after my last paper, I will be in my home sweet home already (if there is no delay of flight since I will be using Air Asia). When I book the ticket in the first place, I don't think it is kind of rush. In my mind was to be homed as soon as possible. But, when the day came, spontaneously, emotions and sadness outweights the excitedness and happiness of going home. I can't really focus on my revision.

I have to admit that I am really an emotional guy. As if that I won't be back again. Yes, I do realise that. Wondering if it is my final year, final semester, God, I think I will break down and crying by now already. Well, who knows, it might happen. Will really miss to see my Uni friends for the next two months since I will only be back on 19 July, exactly 2 months from now. See them everyday, and all of the sudden, they are out of my sight just like that. It is so abrupt. Been thinking, will I be writing this at the end for every semester? Just to release what is kept inside. To all my Uni friends, all the best in your finals and those who are just about to start their study week, may God bless all your effort. As for my batchmates, see you next semester. First year, second semester, sounds cool, eh? We are now growing older and older.

*You (don't ask me who is that "you" and I won't entertain) have made my day again in times of this somewhat loneliness and emotional moment. You saw me, and directly running towards me, makes me feel contented. Will really miss you a lot!
**Things seem to change every semester after being here for 1.5 years. But, I do hope things do not change between us. If it does....

They can take tomorrow and the plans we made
They can take the music that wel never play
All the broken dreams
Take everything
Just take it away
But they can never have yesterday
They can take the future that we'll never know
They can take the places that we said we will go
All the broken dreams take everything
Just take it away
But they can never have yesterday

You always choose to stay
I should be thankful for everyday
Heaven knows what the future
Holds, or least where the story goes
I never believed until now
I know I'll see you again I'm sure
No, it's not selfish to ask for more
One more night one more day
One more smile on your face
But they cant take yesterday...

YESTERDAY by LEONA LEWIS

*This could be the last post from UTP for this semester. Next one may be from KL Central and LCCT. It all depends.
**Do miss me because I will. =)

Unexpectedness

Saw this comment in my chatbox. Seems like someone really reads my blog. She already asked me to update even though I have not updated just for one day. Okay, here's the update, Liang Yi. Nothing much though.

Today suppose to be my lovely day since I was having Differential Equations paper. I was well-prepared (I think) for the test. When I was looking through the question paper, I thought it should be an easy paper. BUT, when it come to do the questions, my nightmare began. I even couldn't integrate the first question! I was like, "oh dear, how come can I forget that?". Proceed to the subsequent question, same problem. From the very first moment, the beginning of the paper, I was already traumatized by the failure of doing the integration and the whole situation was tense. I get psychotic. I felt hot even it was so cold inside the Chancellor Hall.

For the first time in my life, I left my questions unanswered, at least for Maths paper. I am so down and disappointed of myself. I am not sure I was overconfident something. I did do my revision. Doing some exercises. My other friends also complaint the paper was hard, it did make me feel better since everyone is having the same situation. Still, this does not erase this feeling from my heart. I feel bad. I feel ashamed, at some point. I am sad. I feel so sorry for my Maths teacher back in high school, especially my Add Maths teacher.

Just to be positive, all I know is that I have done my very best for it. I am not giving up, at least even though there is some devil in me that tempts me to. Thank God, I don't fall for it. Just let it be, don't look back. Look ahead. Remind myself to be strong and bear with everything.

One paper to go and I'm done with my first year first semester studies. Overall, I would say, I have gone all way out for this semester. For the upcoming semester, I will do more. This is a promise for myself. I want more change, positive change. All the best to everyone.

*Although thing does not go on as I expected I want it to be, I am glad that this won't change anything. I am contented. Your unexpectedness always made my day, that means world to me.

**Will go to Ipoh for the last time before heading back home. After 5 days or more of "booking", should have some "Ipoh-ing" to relax our strained mind.

***To all the teachers in the world,

HAPPY TEACHER'S DAY!

Thanks for the light.
Thanks for the guidance.
Thanks for the direction.
Thanks for the motivation.
Thanks for the care.
Thanks for everything.
Without you, I won't be who I am now.
=)

Critical Moment

At last, 5.30pm of 13 May 2009 marks the end of Organic Chemistry in my life, I hope. Not minding about the result, yet, now I feel nothing except for a huge relief that I have gone through all those critical moment. Somehow I won't get "A" for this paper and I know I won't just get. How sad to know about that. The questions just now is not really tough. In fact, it is way easier than I thought. What to do? Think too much about it and everything just goes jumbles up. Don't care already. (well, after the result is out, I will really don't care anymore!)

The drama is just about to begin. Tomorrow will be MORAL STUDIES paper, another unnecessary paper. I am not sure what is running in his mind, what does he exactly want. It's like if you don't fulfill his criteria, you are out of the game. Meaning to get that "A". Studying just for the sake of grade, merely grade. I am kind of sick already. As what I learn from Moral Studies, some reformation needs to be done so that the system is more generally accepted so that I won't be doing something that is opposing my intrinsic motivation which will make me feeling uneasy about it. That is not a good thing.

Off to study mode. May be.

Organic Chemistry

Nucleophilic Substitution
Elimination
Addition Reactions
Aromatic Compound and its Reactions
Amines
Acids & Bases.

Interesting chapters, actually. It is kind of fascinating to read all those mechanisms in which the reactant is converted to become products. Really salute the chemists who manage to identify all those microscopic reactions. Steps by steps. Transition states. Intermediates. Carboncation. What else?

BUT, when it comes to tests and final exam, I start to, not to say hate, just a bit detest because I don't know how does this knowledge help me in future career. It is not that I will get a promotion if I tell my boss that benzene is an unsaturated compound but it undergoes substitution instead of addition as it has to sustain its sixtet pi electron arrangement to remain stable after the reaction. So what? Being tested for something that is not applicable is somehow annoying. Well, studying for grade, anyone?

The paper will be tomorrow evening. Although I have gone through every chapter, I am still not well-prepared for it. Still have to do lots of recap. Wish me luck, wish all my friends luck. After tomorrow, no more Organic Chemistry! Cheers for that.

This is Benzene, everyone.

One of the members for aromatic compounds. Interesting structures. Awesome mechanisms.
Just don't like being tested, that's all.

Mixture

Miss this notice. Long time don't encounter it already. In other words, no more YouTube, no more MSN, no more YM, no more shoutmix chatbox! (Apparently, mine is still allowed, wondering why). Well, just hope that they won't block Facebook in which I think it won't be happening because UTP staffs also use Facebook. Yes, I saw. Later there will a mega protest if the management does so.

Organic Chemistry makes me wordless. Not sure whether I can handle this killer subject or not. It assembles life-death situation, is either you reach on the top or fall far behind. Sound scary, but that's the way I see it. It is either you can do it or otherwise. My dear juniors, I am not trying to scare you though. Just be prepared. Moral Studies on the following day will be another nightmare. Have no idea what is running in his mind.

I am kind of in dilemma now. Just a small issue but it means something big to me. It could end positively or may turn out to be ugly. Have been considering something but don't want some may get hurt of what I have decided eventhough the outcome is not guaranteed yet. Man, this small thing has made me so down, till a point I could have cried.

Don't think too much, to myself. Just hope it will be resolved as soon as possible. Most importantly, everyone is happy about it.

Peace, everyone. =)

First Day of Exam

While I am writing this, I am already done with my first paper, Academic Writing. Thank God I need not go through those APA referencing thingy again. So many formats to memorize, another course plain memorizing in which I find this is kind of rootless. Meaning, we are just merely given the format and expect us to bear all those in mind. Oh well, how to derive those format anyway?

Left with 4 papers in the list.
13/05 - ORGANIC CHEMISTRY - nightmares for all chemical engineering students
14/05 - MORAL STUDIES - nightmares for everyone!
15/05 - DIFFERENTIAL EQUATIONS - my sweet dream.
19/05 - PHYSICAL CHEMISTRY - no word in particular to describe

Then, I am free! Will be leaving by night of 19 and back to UTP on 19 July Exactly 2 months leave. Have to utilize this break to the max!

*Addiction to O2Jam is growing. Cold Scream is nice.

Incomplete

Feeling so incomplete, if I don't get to see your face.
Feeling so incomplete, if I don't get to hear your voice.
Feeling so incomplete, if I don't get to chat with you.
Feeling so incomplete, if I don't get to spend time with you, even just for a little while.
Hate this busy life, somehow set us apart.
This emptiness in heart, no else could fill it in better than you do.

Why could I not see?
You have been always there.
I was so ignorant and blind.
Until recently, I realised that you are the only one.
Never hurts me.
Never fails me.
Never makes me down.
Always lifting me up, merely just by your presence.

Guess life would have been incomplete without knowing you.
God sends you in my way.
I'm thankful.
I know you are someone that I truly believe that it's worth to turn to.

Just hope the things won't change.

******************************

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY
TO ALL THE MOMS IN THE WORLD!

especially,
MY MOM!

LOVE MUMMY ALWAYS!
=)

Studying for Grades or Knowledge?

Was studying half way for Organic Chemistry and suddenly my friend came and told me, "this one won't come out one la. No need read...." Has made me thinking. The fact is, I have been thinking for quite sometimes.

One question: Why do we study? Why do we do revision? Before you answer for yourself, have a deep thought first. Why would you sacrifice the time that you have over books where you could have fun, enjoy your favourite hobbies. As for UTPians, going to Ipoh may be. Do you study for the sake of studying, or for the sake of getting good score in test or exam? Which one is preferably your response? Guess that the second option will be more popular answer.

Actually, it is pretty easy to score in exam, I mean, to get that desirable "A" in your result slip. Who don't want that "A", do you? All you need to do is just to understand the system, with a good strategy, "A" or may be "four flat" is not really far away from you. One easy example will be our dear final exam. In final exam, there are always choices of questions for you to choose, am I right? Almost all courses use the same format. Students can choose to answer which questions that they want to, as it is not compulsory to answer all. Typically, each question will come out from one particular chapter. If the students are smart enough, they could actually abandon some of the chapters while doing their revision if they don't feel like it. The risk is there, but it's worth to take one, I think. Well, at least that is what I think.

Now, the dilemma is the reason for you to study. To get knowledge or just for the marks? About Oil and Gas Test that day, I made some stupid mistakes because when I was doing my revision, I was kind of missing some parts. And my friend asked, "do you read the past year papers?" and I said no. "You should have read it." This makes me ponder, by studying past year papers, you could score high mark since they may come out with the same questions (in fact, it is). You study everything in your notes, yet you score lower. In reality is, you know more compared to those who rely on past year papers and not forgetting tips, folks. Tips is a very popular demand from students. For the sake of what? Can answer the questions in test and get high mark.

Somehow, the point of studying is no longer there. Suppose we study for the sake of knowledge but due to the system, we are forced to study just to get good grade. Sometimes how unfair is that. One grade shows nothing that one person is capable of. Even you get perfect score for your test, that don't make you a wizard or master or anything that you want to call. Let say that you are just plain lucky. You expect what kinds of questions come out in test or exam, and bingo! You study the right thing. Others who seem to get low grade look.... dare not to use the word. Okay, the group of less-smart-people will seem to be very poor just merely because what they have studied is not being tested. That's just it. Well, human is not a robot. You cannot memorize everything and pour all out in exam. That's why I say, it's luck. Bad grade does not mean you are not capable; good grade does not really mean you are knowledgeable. It all depends, up to your own perspective.

As for me, if I have the time, I would have chosen to study everything, every single word that I can find in a textbook even though my friends somehow psycho me, telling me no need to read them, guess you know what's the reason is. But if the exam is near, pressure, and ya, I fall for that system, mindset of getting good grade, I would skip some parts. Sound like contradicting to myself, back to square one. What to do? Life is hard. Making choice has never been easy. All you can do is to go with the flow. That's how the world works.

Long-winded post. Hope it is worth-reading for you to think. Basically, everything is up to you to decide. Just be comfortable with your choice. That's all, peeps!

*Find this song, perhaps I am kind of outdated or whatever it is. Jai Ho by PCD, featured soundtrack for movie Slumdog Millionaire. Very catchy. Has been playing it all night long. Hope you enjoy it.

For UTPians, I know internet connection can be a culprit. That's why we have DC++, right?

*Things seem back to "normal" already. Oh well, the more I care, the more that I suffer. Why should I care? (may be because, I still care, actually...)

Study Smart

Here I am again. Writing this blogpost since it is now my break time. You may think that it is study week, the time we should be studying, it is rather impossible to have time to blog, right? I have thought so, too. Ironically, I have more than enough time to write a single entry for my blog, daily. Wondering, you won’t be staring at your books 24/7, will you? Surely there are times allocated to have break and so. Some may choose to play DoTA; some may go for sports; some may just have plain nap. As for me, I choose to blog. Blogging won’t take much of my time.

Moreover, I discover something, of myself. During day time, my study mood could only last for 2 hours. The spirit only back at night, lasting for about 6 hours. I slept at 4am yesterday and woke up 12pm. Initially, I have arranged my time so that I will be having 8 hours of sleep, 8 hours of study, and the rest will be my other miscellaneous routine. The point is, as long as I have 8 hours enough sleep, 8 hours of study, regardless anytime, I still could catch up with my own revision, actually. Guess the main reason I could not follow my own schedule is due to my body nature which is not resilient to fit my time. He has his own time and I can only follow. This is what happening when used to sleep late and woke up late throughout the lecture weeks. My body has adapted to it, already.

Good thing is, all my papers during finals will be in the afternoon. Timetable is on my side. So, practically, I could continue this routine till the end of my finals, for this semester. Just hope for the best. Guess this is the meaning of “study hard, study smart”. Oh well, everyone has their own definition.

*Going to study Differential Equations after this, my beloved subject.
**I miss DE lectures. I miss DE lecturer.

Lingering

Organic Chemistry textbook remains opened on the bed, together with lecture notes. Have just gone through one chapter. And suddenly, the mood of studying is gone. Just gone with the wind. Don't feel like want to continue. Feel so lazy to proceed to the subsequent chapter. By the way, Acid & Bases is such a boring chapter! Not to say I am good at it, but the concept is too dull for me to know them. Has been exposed to Acid and Bases since form 2, don't feel like want to know more. Enough to know that the product is salt and water.

I am not in the library. I choose to stay in my room today. My bed is in front of me. Don't feel like sleeping either. I am not sleepy. I am not deprived of sleep. Just lack of motivation. Somehow my mind tells me that I still have time to do my preparation, perhaps it is just not today. I have a lot of things yet to be revised. I have not touched Differential Equations, Academic Writing, and Moral Studies. Not even a word. The weather is discouraging also, not so conducive for studying with all those scorching heat. Sound dramatic but it is indeed a bit hot now.

I was just informed that I get selected to become as the assistant head for Journalism department for ELC. Kind of unexpected actually, since I am still a new member and suddenly given a quite big commitment. Anyway, I would really like to say thanks for selecting a nobody like me to become of the committee. It may be just a small post but it means something big to me. Surely will gain lots of experience. (Sound so..... don't know the exact word to describe it.)

Guess that's all, for now.

*Still, don't feel like studying now.

She always calls me "ah kong" or grandpa. Not really sure why though. Anyway,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GRANDDAUGHTER.

Joking.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PEI YING.

=)

Study Week begins

Don't know how or what to begin for today's entry. Well, just start off with how did I go through my day. Spending the whole day in IRC to study. Done with Oil & Gas, I could feel nothing except sense of relief and glad to begin my revision. Oh well, actually, I have kind of screwed up my own timetable in which I planned to start at 10. Since I woke up at 9.30, it was postponed to 11. Delaying my own planned schedule. Odd me. There is always unforeseen circumstances.

By the way, was having lunch at V4 cafe today. My meal was rice, veges, and fish. Well, it used to be chicken but just want to try something else. Well, no much choices also actually. Guess what? The fish was not well-cooked. Still could see the trace of blood beneath. Perhaps this is a hint that I should just stick to chicken. Back to IRC, it was kind of hard to resume my study mode. It was so cold and the chill strikes even I was wearing long sleeve UTP thick shirt which is apparently L size. Could not endure any longer, have decided not to go there at night and now I am in my own room.

Since I have screwed my timetable for today, so why not just screwing everything up? Yeah, right. I was revising Physical Chemistry, but it will be my last paper, which is Tuesday of second week. My intuition tells me there is still time for it. Hope it's true. The reason why I have the time to blog now, obviously. Tomorrow will be a brand new start.

Finally get to know some of the coursework mark. I was satisfied with my DE's even though I could have done better. The interview is the culprit for that. I have to work on that. Result for Oil & Gas was out, too for test 1 and energy game. At last, this time my effort is really paid off. I was happy. But, I think I have done badly for my test 2 though, made lots of stupid mistakes, same case for my Physical Chemistry test 2. Should not burn midnight oil, Don't waste those time studying. Should be SLEEPING!

Was having gathering yesterday, sort of barbecue at the pavillion. It was fun, the last gathering for this semester. It has been one and half year. Still have another 3 years to go before graduation. Cherish every moment.

GOOD LUCK IN FINAL!

*Miss someone today. :)

Done with Oil & Gas

Done. Finally I'm done, with Oil and Gas! After being dragged by the Energy Game and test, at last I could feel relief, well, a bit since final exam is on its way. At least I can have enough rest, sleep especially to energize to start my hard work tomorrow. Only sleep for 2 hours this morning. Blame Oil & Gas for that. Read so much is pointless and worthless, feel like have wasted the whole night for nothing. Should have gone for sweet dream. Feel so sleepy now, actually.

My mind is now blank. I have some thought in mind to blog about but it just, varnishes. Guess it was washed away with all those oil & gas thingy altogether.

Will write more when I am inspired. Peace.

*Liang Yi, thanks for the ice-cream treat. :)

First Sunday of May

THE BEST MOMENT IN LIFE

1. Falling in love.

2. Laughing till your stomach hurts.

3. Enjoying a ride down the country side.

4. Listening to your favorite song on the radio.

5. Going to sleep listening to the rain pouring outside.

6. Getting out of the shower and wrapping yourself with a warm, fuzzy towel.

7. Passing your final exams with good grades.

8. Being a part of an interesting conversation.

9. Finding some money in some old pants.

10. Laughing at yourself.

11. Sharing a wonderful dinner with all your friends.

12. Laughing without a reason.

13. "Accidentally" hearing someone say something good about you.

14. Watching the sunset.

15. Listening to a song that reminds you of an important person in your life.

16. Receiving or giving your first kiss.

17. Feeling this buzz in your body when seeing this "special" someone.

18. Having a great time with your friends.

19. Seeing the one you love happy.

20. Wearing the shirt of a person you love and smelling his/her perfume..

21. Visiting an old friend of yours and remembering great memories.

22. Hearing someone telling you "I LOVE YOU"

"True friends come in the good times when we tell them to, and come in the bad times.....without calling."

[A forwarded email]

************************

Doing nothing for the whole day. I mean, real nothing. I didn't even touch my slides for Oil & Gas. Well, I did read a bit but only first few part. Don't feel like studying for it either. Test is on Tuesday. Heck, why made the test during study week? Why don't just drag it during examination week, or just make it in final exam? It would have been better. No, I am not stress and I don't think I sound like one.

The energy game is another headache. Keep on getting the same score, and f**k the events that keep on increasing the impacts. Do I just curse? Okay, I think I am really kind of stress now. Hope thing will be okay by tomorrow.

Receive a call from friend who claims himself who was overstress. Guess stress mode is in the air. Take care my friend, you know that I will always be here.

笑话是快乐的起点,
假话是美丽的谎言,
闲话是生活的体验,
情话是爱情的贡献.
无论你每天压力有多大,
希望都能找到快乐的根源,
保持一张灿烂的笑脸!

^_^

*Study week officially starts tomorrow. All the best to everyone!

Day Out

Just come back from Ipoh, around one hour ago. Have been going out the whole day, since 10.30am. It has been a long while didn't stay out of UTP for that long, since STE. Happy moment will eventually come to an end. Every moment will.

Anyway, me, Kerry, Lian Hung, Yi Herng and Wee Kheng went to Ipoh Parade as our first stop. Having lunch at Sushi King. My first ever meal in a japanese restaurant. Didn't know that they promote Yakult drink at the same time.

Piri-piri Chicken (I think that's the name, not really sure)

Spent around RM140 there. Need not to pay for it, I mean, myself since it was a treat for me. Thanks a lot!

Went to Ampang Superbowl. Finally have the chance to play there, first time ever, in a more standard bowling court at least because the one at Jusco, well, is kind of sucks. Coming from nowhere, Fazlee joined the game. Not really nowhere, he just came back from Yip Fong and happened to be going there as well. He was alone. In the end, he joined us. First round, I got the first with score more than 100 but got the last in the second round with score of 60. Oh well, it has been like that, winning and losing.

Thinking of going to hair cut and others was like "What on earth you want to have a hair cut? There is nothing for you to cut." Okay, the line may not be exactly exaggerating but the main point is there. The saloon that we went, it took around 45 minutes per head. Can't stay for too long, I choose not to in the end, because my hair is not really that urgent and yeah, nothing to be cut. One scene from the saloon: the stylist miscut himself while cutting hair. Hear, hear.

Went to Starbucks to buy drink, Chocolate Cream Chip (vendi) before heading to JUSCO. Upon reaching there, went to watch movie, X-men; Wolverine. Nice movie, quite interesting plot. The concept is like the one portrays in HEROES series. Don't know who copy who, it was indeed worth watching. But the ending is quite sad, feel bad for Logan and... (forget the name of the female). Why does romance always end in sad way?

Yi Herng then left to have gathering with his high school friends. Wee Kheng, Kerry and Lian Hung went to supermarket to buy stuff. Fazlee and I played the game at the arcade near to the cinema. After "tapao"-ing Secret Recipe and Big Apple Donuts, 9.30pm. we left for campus.

The expenditure for the day is less than I expected, way to less. Good thing though, could save more. It's been a fun day. The last day of having fun in Ipoh, for this semester, before the hard work begins.

*Haven studied a single thing for Oil and Gas test on Tuesday.

*****************************

Belated surprise.

Thank you, Eric and Lawrence. =)

End of April

How time flies. 30-day April passed by, just like that. It is a whole new month called May. What a nice name for the month. Shall not forget, Mother's Day is coming soon!

Suppose to have Organic Chemistry lecture this morning but due to some technical errors, the class was postponed to next Tuesday. Wondering, I can't believe I am saying this but for the first time, I don't detest Piven. Why? Not only he allows us to take replacement quiz in which he claimed that he would give us zero last time, he also canceled the test 3 that we should sit for today! At last, he is doing something, well, that makes us feel contented. Okay, to think again, he is not really that bad anyway.

Back to the room, online my Gtalk and sensed something is not right with Laura and Liang Yi's Gtalk shoutout. Dare not to make my own conclusion, I asked Liang Yi about it. God, my speculation was right. Our Chindian rabbit pet, Amber, which was like only 2 weeks, has passed away. How sad. I just saw her on Wednesday night. Now she was gone. May rest in peace, Amber. Although I only get to spend litte time with you, surely will miss you. :)

Was busy looking for group members for Energy Game in which we need to pass up the report by next Tuesday. Man, I really hate last minute job. Towards the end of the semester, and this thing pops up. It has just ruined my plan studying. Oil and Gas on next Tuesday, as well. I was like, what the... Anyway, I will stay cool, as usual. By the way, if you have time, try to play this game. Challenge you to get the lowest impact as possible. You will understand when you access to the website.

Oh ya, yesterday was Louisa's Birthday.

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY, LOUISA!

It was also actually birthday of my cousin. Grew up together since small, we have been very close as if we are brothers and sister.

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY, UMANG!

HAPPY SWEET SIXTEEN! ;)

By the way, received a birthday card from other members of "The Gang of Four" towards the end of my birthday, a late surprise. Thanks, Wee Kheng, Lian Hung, and Yi Herng. And to Serena too, for treating me ice-cream yesterday.

Going to Ipoh tomorrow. Long time didn't have a real day out. Should have one now.

Okay. It is a whole new month. Next week will be study week and final starts on 11 May. Wish me luck. Wish all my batchmates luck!

Going back home on 20 May but leaving UTP on 19 May. Yay!

*Book Fair is postponed. So, consider postponing the date I come back to UTP.
**Feel so incomplete today. Somehow something is missing...